Friday, September 24, 2010

The End

I've allowed so much of what I do to define who I am as a person, when that necessarily isn't the case. What I do simply is, what I do. Who I am is my character, personality and being. So if what I do has defined me for so long - what happens when I no longer am "doing" that something?

For the past 6.5 years I've been a fitness instructor, motivating and encouraging other people with their workouts and to live out a healthy lifestyle. It's been an adventure in itself as I've had numerous personal struggles, an occasional personality conflict with a student, a falling out with an owner, and that's not to mention the sound equipment squabbles I've had on a regular basis. All in all, it's been a great learning experience. Over the years I've become a more self-confident and stronger (is that even possible) woman with drive and self-determination to get the job done.

To get the job done... hmmm. The past year and a half has not been an easy one for me as an instructor, my heart hurts thinking about some of the things that I've been through. The learning process has not been an easy one for me but I know it's something that I needed to go through. I've felt my life changing a little bit each day and I could see that something that I used to love so passionately was no longer one of the most important things in my life.

Every year about this time I have to renew my franchise as an instructor and about 6 months ago I really began thinking about whether to do so or not. As the moment approached I continued to really weigh my options and although fearful of my future I started to consider that teaching aerobics might not be a part of it. Of course I was a little scared, working out has been a regular activity for me for the past 7 years and I've always been accountable to that workout knowing that there were students waiting for me at class.

So all this to say, I wrote my letters of resignation yesterday to my district manager and to the center owner letting them know that I'd not be renewing and that I'd finish out October. It's bitter sweet, but even after I hit send, I realized that I had made the right decision. The decision to be finished is a good one for me, I don't see myself as quitting, but instead I've completed my journey.

Here's my last thought on all this: don't finish when you're down, instead finish on top. There have been a few times in the past years when I just wanted to be done with teaching because someone had a complaint about my class or my feelings had been hurt in some way or another, but had I quit then I'd have regret. Finishing now - when I'm happiest as an instructor - I have no regret. Yes, I'm sad - but I also know that I'm in a good place and that I'm doing it for the right reasons. And lastly, don't allow yourself to be defined by what you do - instead, define yourself by who you are and the person that you are becoming.

I will miss the friendships that I've made along the way, my instructor friends and student friends. I have some really awesome memories that I'll treasure always, but you know - for the first time in a very long while my head seems so clear.

Life is short - chase your dreams, live out your moment and laugh often. Give 110% in all that you do and look back on growing pains as stepping stones to a better you. Be amazing!