Tuesday, September 29, 2009


I'm sitting at coffee this morning with a few friends and as we're sitting there chatting away, I begin to wonder if any of us are actually listening to each other? I'm sure we hear one another, but at the same time we're so desperately trying to be heard ourselves that we're not actually listening. SO I want to challenge myself to actually take the time to listen to others. When I'm with my friends, I want to purposely make the decision to just shut up and to listen to what they have to say.

No big words of encouragement and motivation from me tonight, other than - take the time to listen to those you care about, it speaks louder than words. Goodnight friends. You are amazing. Continue to be amazing!

Friday, September 11, 2009

An Amazing Life

Being a mother is simply amazing. As my youngest is about to turn another year older I realize just how quickly the years pass. I still remember the day I went into labor with him – clearly. I still remember holding him and nursing him for the first time. I still remember my overwhelming emotions I had towards that little guy after laying eyes on him for the first time.

I cherish each day with my husband and my children. I don’t take any moment for granted. It’s easy to take for granted the mundane and boring daily activities for granted – but I just can’t anymore. I treasure walking my children up to the school each morning at drop off. I look forward to seeing their faces at the end of the school day when I pick them up. I get excited about the possibility of joining them for lunch every so often in the school cafeteria. And what makes my heart smile most – is when I walk by their classroom at school and see them smiling and getting into their work.

I can’t take life for granted – as crazy as it might seem. I guess in the back of my head I hold loosely the thought that any and all of it could be taken away in a heartbeat. Eight years ago two planes hit the twin towers in NY – and in a moment our world changed before our eyes. I want to live amazingly – I want to love amazingly – and I want to be amazing. I know I’m dramatic at times and I know I’m emotional as well… but all that pushes me to love people, the moment and life even more. Life is too short – live hard.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Hello self-confidence... where'd ya go?

So here it is, nearly 4 months since I last blogged. The summer blew by and without much regret. Much regret? We had one vacation planned for the summer and it fell through. My only regret is not planning something else. I loved every minute with my kids and my husband and my friends. I am thankful and I am blessed!

What's been on my mind???

I'm sure I've struggled with the issue of not feeling like I fit in at times. I mean, I know I struggled a lot with that in high school. As I got older I feel as though I've left that behind me and become more confident with myself and my abilities. So just recently - almost two weeks ago actually, I was dealt a hand that I wasn't expecting. I was at a social event that I normally feel fairly confident and able to hold my own at. This particular time, I failed - I completely lost confidence and doubted my abilities to carry on a decent conversation with any strangers that might try to strike up conversation. What was my deal? What the heck?

It only gets worse from there. I let the memory of the awful and awkward event remain in my head and in my heart - and for days I stewed over my inability to fit in. I began to see myself in high school again and I began to see myself quickly becoming a social outcast.

Now deep down, I believe we all long to be accepted and to be loved. It's a normal and natural feeling. I'm normal - I feel it. I get it! So what have I done?

I allowed myself to wallow in my own self-pity for about a week. I let myself vent and talk it out with a few close friends of mine, and cherished their sweet loving words of compassion and acceptance. When it all comes down to it - isn't it their opinions of me that should matter most? Not some stranger or acquaintance that I run into from time to time. So I began to change my attitude. I began to look at people differently. I began to ask myself, what if that person I'm so afraid of pleasing - feels the same way about me? How narcissistic of me to think that they would even be thinking about me - good or bad. What if they weren't even placing judgement on me - what if they were just minding their own business and here I was trying to make something more out of it than necessary? The what if's...

Two weeks later and I think I've accomplished it - not completely of course, I think it's a constant work in me. BUT here it is - I'm living my life for me and my family. I'm doing what's best for me and not worrying about what others might think in the process. Forget about them, if they don't like me now - chances are they never did and never will. So buck up - move forward and live confidently knowing that each day I grow stronger building my confidence back up and perhaps even stronger than the first time.

Easier said than done? Don't you know it?!? But I take joy in seeing myself make the most of myself and each moment I am given here on earth. And that's something I'm confident about! Don't let others thoughts or words bring you down. Who knows if those people actually even think or say the things that you "think" they've said?

Move on - move forward - live amazingly - you are amazing!