Deuteronomy 31:6

I'm claiming this verse for the day - week - month - probably for a life time. Ha. 


⁶ Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”


I continue to remind myself that as each struggle and challenge that comes my way - that I must deal with it and handle it because another one will more than likely come along shortly there after. SO if this is the case, I can only hope and pray that I handle each challenge gracefully. 


Grace: "Seemingly effortless beauty or charm of movement, form, or proportion." 


God's definition of Grace: "unmerited favor".


Either way - I want to be able to handle challenges thrown my way better than I have in the past. Which is a challenge in itself as well.


While I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve and say that my life is an open book... there are still deeper issues, hurts and pains that I rarely share with others.


Today, this moment in my life, I feel a loss of control, lack of joy, uncertainty, and frustration towards God. I've been told it's alright to be mad at Him. Why not? I have a relationship with Him and in relationships you talk stuff out and say how you feel. So yes, I'm frustrated because everything to this point in my life seems so...not what I expected. 


All my life I've grown up with people around me telling me to, "trust Him, to ask God for answers, believe that He has a plan for every thing that happens." Honestly, me and trust - well I'm not so great at that. And while I have asked Him for answers and believed that He has plans for me, I've felt like that's often been an easy line for people to say to me when they can't come up with good answers or find the right words to say when I am hurting. In the end, I come up empty and feel more alone.


I go to church. I'm in a Bible Study. I pray. Yet, I still feel so far away from those around me and from God Himself. Where is God? Why don't I feel Him the way others feel Him? Why do I feel as though He's always pissed off at me and trying to continually throw down consequences on me for past sins and mistakes I've committed? Why does doing the "right thing" feel as though I'm getting nowhere? 


AND SO...with all this in mind, I've decided that I need to seek out my Heavenly Father more. I heard on the radio just the other day that if you want to hear God, you must make time to listen. In the midst of all my life's chaos and madness, I don't really think I've taken the time to listen.


OK, so here's my disclaimer. When people blog about spirituality and issues related, I feel like they can come across as a know-it-all holier than thou person without fault. Let me tell you right now - this is not me. I'm full of faults, sin, and imperfections as far as the eye can see... I just know that I'm tired of doing this all on my own. AND if there truly is a God that loves me and wants to go through my fires with me, I'm going to give Him a shot. 


So I'm claiming this verse - for so many reasons but mostly because right now I need courage to face my trials, my stresses, and mainly - just life in general. 


God --- give me strength --- give me grace!

Page 3 of 366

Coffee in hand, here I am sitting down at the computer ready to type up my first blog entry for the new year. 3 days in and I'm feeling pretty good. Really good actually.

New Year's Eve I got back in touch with a friend, we'd had a huge falling out about two months ago and we're starting to work through it. It feels so good to know that particular friendship is not completely dead in the water. I love my friends and family. My life isn't based on material items that I can accumulate, but instead on the relationships that are formed. I'm certain that in my own life - my purpose in life is all about relationships. I eat, crave and need relationships to keep me going. Not with just friends but within my own family. I love my family and friends. Wait, I've already said that.

I'm not setting huge resolutions for 2012. I've been doing the new year - start fresh thing for nearly 38 years now and well... I'm realistic. I just want to make the best of myself and try to do better than last year. Who agrees with me that a messy house causes stress? So I started getting emails from FlyLady in hopes of decluttering and making my home a place where not only I want to come home to, but others as well. In the past few years I've realized that I don't want a huge house because it's just too much to clean and I'd be stressed all the time. Instead, my dream home is a smaller home with character and charm, and let's not forget the wrap around porch in front. Big enough to entertain others, but small enough to keep my family close to me.

Lastly on my heart... my workouts. Of course. So a few days ago I put my membership on hold at the Crossfit box I've been WODing at for the past year. It was somewhat of a hard decision for me, but I'm having a hard time separating myself from the cost of it and the financial obligations I have with the kids and gymnastics and sorts. I've started running. No, I'm not kidding. Those of you that have known me for years know I ran track and field in college on a scholarship... and yet - running anything more than 200m = pure hatred. Well, I'm trying to overcome that. With the encouragement from a friend, I downloaded the Couch To 5K app to my phone and I've started doing the workouts. Crazy, but I kind of like them, almost to the point where I'm looking forward to the run for the day.

I definitely want to get back to Crossfit, I am missing it already. I've just figured out this past year that I need more cardio in my life. It's been over a year now since I resigned from teaching aerobics. Do I miss it? Not in the least... but I've gotta say - that cardio helped me out more than I knew at the time. I've got a goal to lose a significant amount of weight. I'm not sure how long it will take, but I need to do it. Pray for me to stay motivated. I'll need encouragement as well from my friends and family. I know how this journey goes, I've done it before. It's hard and tough and as much as I don't want to tackle it - I know I must.

WOW. Did I just write all that? I remember when I first started this blog, many moons ago it was originally so that I could encourage others and motivate others to be amazing. As much as I'd still like it to be that way, I've decided to take it in another direction and just blog about myself, family and day-to-day activities. A more personal blog. I'll probably lose a few of you (sadly) but for me - I need this therapy. My FB page though I'm trying to keep a more upbeat positive vibe. Check it out if we're not friends yet!

Happy New Year!

My Sweet Em

Every year around this time for the past 4 years I've been to a State Gymnastics Meet for my daughter Emily. This year was no exception. It was this past Saturday over at 5280 in Wheat Ridge. It was at 8am - the weather was awful... snowing like crazy and the roads were terrible. Since we weren't sure how long it was going to take to get to the gym and we didn't want to be late - we left at 6:45am. Of course we were about a half hour early.

She had her best meet ever for the season. I am so proud of her! AND now she gets about 33 days before she begins a new season... as an Level 7 Optional team gymnast. Very cool --- and very long season for our little girl.

Here's the link to her meet - Emily's Level 6 State Meet

Saturday Six

1. If you could spend one day as a member of the opposite sex and a different race, would you stay closer to the places you currently frequent, or would you try to spend your time in a place where more people like your current form would go?

---I'd probably stay close to the places I currently frequent because then I'd get a perspective from the other side which would give me better understanding into the opposite sex and why they do the things that they do when they are around me.

2. Of the following three types of presidential candidates, which type would you be most likely to vote for in 2012:
A) Someone who supported all of your concerns and got every bill you supported passed …but was unscrupulous and often lied to get where he is.
B) Someone whose political views were nearly the opposite of yours, who was only able to pass a handful of bills you didn’t want passed…but who was completely honest and ethical all the time.
C) Someone who was middle of the road, passed bills that tended to favor compromise more than any one side of the issue, and wasusually (but not always) ethical and honest.

---Whoa, that's tough. Probably A, even though I am not a fan of lying.

3. You learn that your best friend’s spouse is carrying on an affair, and that person realizes that you know the secret. He or she begs for time, promising that he (or she) will reveal all to your best friend. How long are you willing to give the cheater to confess before you will step in and let your friend know yourself?

---Not long. He'd need to come clean with her in just a matter of days.

4. If you had to give up one of your five senses, which one would you be most unwilling to live without?

---Taste... then maybe I'd start losing weight?

5. What would you say is your biggest character strength?

---Moral conviction. A strength and a weakness.

6. Which seasonal or holiday movie do you least look forward to this time of year?

---ELF

My Loves

November came and went and I hardly had a moment to breathe. There's so much to be thankful for in my life.

Things I currently LOVE:

*My husband - he works so hard for the family, and on top of it he loves me - some days I'm not even sure why.
*My kids - they truly are my life. They are freakin' smart, whitty, and talented... I couldn't be more proud!
*My friends - they lift my spirit, they text me on my cool cellular devices, and they let me talk about myself without interrupting.
*Crossfit - no matter how much it kicks my butt, I keep going back and back again.
*The gymnasts I coach - they are so stinkin' cute, talented, and sometimes they can say and do the most amazing things that lift my spirits and make me the happiest coach ever.
*Sorrels - silly I know, but it's snowing like crazy today and I'm so grateful that I actually bought a pair at Nordstroms a month ago. Yay boots. Wheeee!!!
*Samsung Galaxy S II - wow, this phone is sick. I've only had it for less than a week and the phone I had before that was pretty cool too (HTC Amaze), but this is beautiful.
*Wells Fargo - for internet banking and the ability to transfer funds via online. Love it!
*Mission Hills Church - we don't get to go as often as I'd like because it's been gymnastics season, but I do love the people, pastor, and the activities we're a part of there.
*My LG tablet - gosh it's cool. Now I rarely have to log on to my computer and I can take it with me everywhere.
*Netflix - seriously awesome to watch a gazillion TV shows, some that I've not even heard of.
*Melatonin - yay sleep!

I would include my chi-pin Cooper, but these days he barks at every moving object and chews up any stuffed animal the kids leave on the floor. Love - yes, like - no.

Argh

I need to do it. I have to. I've got to start losing weight. I'm awful at it. I can get a good start for a week but after that I begin to lose momentum. So wish me luck and send me good ju-ju cuz this journey is going to be long.

Fresh Starts

Just dropped the kids off at school... I've now got a 5th grader and a 2nd grader. When did I become so old? Wow.

It's good to be back on a schedule again, or at least working towards getting back on a schedule again. It's always a little tough in the beginning.

Over the summer someone or some people came into our house and just destroyed it. Ha ha ha. I am still trying to restore some sort of order among all the chaos. I'd say it's because our house is too small, but I really don't think that's the case. I just think that we're a little bit unorganized... okay, a lot a bit. It's the initial stages of organization that are hard and frustrating to me. I see the clutter and just don't even know where to begin. Ahhhh. Tell me you understand?

Along with the new school year starting - a new gymnastics season begins as well and I am already in stress mode. I need to relax, and my husband tells me I get this way every year at this time... I just don't know what the other teams have out there and how they are going to look.

So this is it for now... a happy beginning to a new school year to all of you! Until next time - be amazing!