More injuries

I've been doing CrossFit for over 2 years now. I love it. CrossFit is what saved me from my workout lull. It gave my life excitement again and a desire for competition and to make myself a better athlete. Within the first 6 months of CrossFit I set a goal to do a competition. I hadn't set a date, I definitely wanted to get into better shape, and I wanted to feel ready.

Now 2 years later, the 5 friends I started CrossFitting with have gone down to 2. So many people I've talked to about CrossFit have talked about injuries and quitting. I never want to quit CrossFit... I love it. However, in the last 11 months I've had 3 serious injuries that have set me back quite a bit. My strength has diminished (although I know that I can get that back), and my cardio is nothing like it used to be, and my desire to work out has grown a bit dim. 2 back injuries that have put me out for 3 months each time and now a hip injury that's had me out for 3 weeks now. I am depressed...just a bit. I feel old. This sucks. My husband said to me a few days ago, "maybe CrossFit isn't for you anymore." BUT I'm just not ready to hang up the shoes. I'll modify for sure, but even so --- I'll be sad thinking that I might never get to do a competition because I'm broken. Argh.

I know this sounds so stupid, but CrossFit gave me life. And lately I've been feeling so - lifeless. I miss my CrossFit Crew, and I miss throwing around heavy weight and doing crazy body weight exercises. Hoping and praying that I heal quickly and that this is not my moment to say "I'm done" with what I love so much.

February 2013

SO, as you can see - I'm not real good at this blogging thing. You should check out my Twitter or my Instagram on the other hand because those are two sites that I'm quite good at keeping up on. Ha ha ha.

What am I up to???

*I'm back to CrossFit after 3 months away due to a killer back injury. (This is my 2nd back injury in the past 9 months.) This time I'm coming back slower than ever and really listening to my body. I'm not pushing myself like I once did ---even though I did sign up for the Reebok CrossFit Open. WHAT?!? Yay, I can't believe I did that.

*PALEO... the caveman diet. Yup, I'm doing it. I started about 3 weeks ago because of health reasons. I'm not as strict as I should be. I'd like to be stricter but it's called "lack of self-control". I'm gonna need to work on that some more. I love me some good chocolate. You can follow my food journal on www.myfitnesspal.com.

*Pilates rocks! Yes, I added pilates to my weekly workout schedule and I love it. I can already see a difference in just a month. It's no shocker that my back injury had something to do with my lack of core strength, so this is really helping me to focus on form and core work. Ahhhh - I actually look forward to Friday Pilates.

*I am a gym membership whore. I need to cool it. I belong to  Lifetime Fitness, Bally's and 2 CrossFit boxes. I actually think I'm going to cancel my Bally's membership because that place has been disappointing. I'm not impressed with their lack of professionalism, their no-show instructors for group classes, and well... yay - that's all. OH but I do have to say that I was floored to see that they were selling Diet Coke to the public at the shake/smoothie bar. Yes, I do have something against high fructose corn syrup. 

*I'm working like a mad woman... and it's making me mad (the crazy kind of mad - the kind that finds yourself in a padded room). The compulsory girls had a very successful season that ended this past December. Now we're in optional competition season and the compulsories are in training season. When I'm not coaching at practices, I'm coaching at meets or trying to squeeze in a private lesson or two when I can. Burnt out and/or tired??? YES. Trying to figure out how to manage everything.

So that's all that I can think of for the moment. OR at least all that I'm going to share on a public blogging site. Follow me... add me to your blog list... or Twitter feed... or Instagram. I love my friends that I get to meet via internet. Until next time (hopefully it won't be another 9 months before I blog again) --- be amazing!!!

Memorial Day Weekend 2012

What an amazingly fun filled Memorial Day weekend! I was so SAD that it had to come to an end. Haven't posted pictures up to my blog in some time so I thought I'd show off my family and friends. 


I kicked my weekend off with a beautiful run at the park. I love Wash Park. It's about 2.5 miles if you run the inside road. I usually do that. I'm better running on pavement for some reason. You can run the outside though and that's about 3 miles and a dirt trail.

Went to two graduation parties this past weekend. Two more than I've been to in a quite some time. These graduates were special because they were gymnasts at the gym I coach at. Of course I don't have any pictures of me and them - but I do have a picture with me and one of their moms. Ha ha ha. This is my friend Jessica, affectionately known as "BiFF" to me. How is that? BFF said really fast sounds like Biff... right? LOL.

After the 2nd graduation party I felt like I hadn't seen my little boy in a few days so he and I had a park date. BUT before we hit the park we had to get a treat at Ben & Jerry's. We live about 4 miles away from a Ben & Jerry's and in the 6 years that we've lived in Denver we've not been there. So Ethan and I decided to check it out. Looks amazing right? Cooper the dog definitely thought so.

Having a few picture moments at the park together. I love my son and dog... and my time with them both. Ethan is one of the coolest little boys I know. If you ever get a chance to meet him --- you'll think so too.

No weekend would be complete without a little dancing. My friends Jaime and Paul joined me for the opening weekend of Vinyl Club's balcony. It was packed - super packed. I haven't been to a place like that in years. You know, the kind of place where you can't move because you're smashed up like sardines... and it was HOT so HOT because of all the bodies... and to think - it was almost all outside on the balcony. Whew! There was some fun dancing that night though.

So the best thing about kids getting older is that they want to hang out with their friends. My daughter Emily was invited to Elitch's for the day with one of her gymnastics buddies and my son Ethan decided to hang out with grandma. Kevin and I got an entire afternoon to ourselves! Holy cow... it was so much fun. Off to the Gaylord Street Festival we went to meet up with some coach-friends of mine from the gym.

Here's a picture of Kevin, me, Sonia and Vinicio at the Gaylord Street Festival. I tried Jamaican jerk chicken, plantaines, red beans and rice. Yes, I'm 38 and have never had any of those... speaking of - I also tried Fried Oreos at the festival as well. YUMMY! And on the way out Kevin and I visited Bonnie Brae and tried a Cappucino Crunch shake. Next time I take a break from eating healthy I'm going back for another one.

Later that afternoon we picked up Ethan and went to my friend Holly's house for a BBQ and some swimming. The only one that went swimming was Ethan because he's summer swim suit ready - unlike his mom. LOL. 

The hostess with the mostess - Holly! I love her. We met at church less than a year ago. Our friendship has been a blessing to me. I wish I saw her more but we both have such crazy schedules that it makes it quite a challenge. 

To finish out Memorial day I was invited to the LMFAO concert by my friend Deborah. It was epic - first of all because I've never been to Red Rocks for a concert in all the time that I've lived in Colorado and I grew up here... so that's like 32 years... wow. Second of all --- that was one high energy show. So much fun!

SO there it is - one very fun filled and activity packed weekend. Tuesday morning looked something like this...

"Never settle for less." -E Thomas

A parent of one of my gymnasts sent me this video a couple of days ago. I was inspired - of course. 

So I guess it's been a while since I've blogged. I tend to do that, I know. I have so much to say but just don't know how to say it at times. Right now I'm working hard to get rid of 35 pounds of me. I've been working on it for a while. I'm down about 14 pounds. It's been hard work. The past two weeks I've upped my workouts to twice a day. It's helped a lot. Two other things that have really helped was upping my caloric intake to 1700 calories a day and cutting out processed and GMO's in my diet.


I have always been successful at calorie counting, but up until about a month ago I wasn't losing and was really getting frustrated with all the hard work that I was putting in. Both my husband and a friend of mine who is a Level 1 certified CrossFit trainer encouraged me to consume more calories. I had originally been eating about 1200 calories a day. I think that essentially I was pushing my body into starvation mode because I was working out so much. At first it was a hard concept for me to adjust to. Eating more seemed so opposite of losing weight. But almost within a week or so I started to see a loss. Who knew?!? 


If you haven't seen the movie "Food, Inc." you should. It was an eye opening movie that really helped me to think about what I put into my body. Not only am I eating more calories daily, but I'm eating really good foods. I've been doing a lot of research on nutrition and on more than one occasion I read that in order to get rid of belly fat you should get rid of processed foods. SO --- I'm testing out that claim. I'll get back to you on that.


I feel really good. I drink tons of water. I'm not going hungry. And I feel like the food choices I am making are not only good for me but also for my family because I am making them eat the same way I do. I haven't had fast food, soda or alcohol in a month.


I journal - a lot. I keep a journal of my workouts and my weight loss journey. I'm working flipping hard... I like to win and I plan to win this weight loss challenge I've set upon myself.


Until next time... be amazing!!!

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Here's the thing - I'm a lot more sensitive than people give me credit for. I really do care about people and want the best for them. However, I feel like often times I take my cues from them. So if I feel like I'm getting some sort of negative vibe - then I'm less apt to open up and be friendly as opposed to someone that seems to be genuinely interested in me or what I'm doing. More often than not I seem to be misunderstood by many.

I am in awe

I believe that there are no random accidents. God places specific events and people in your life for a reason. That He gives us choices and we can decide what to do with them. I'm in awe of His awesomeness, His grace and His love - and can't fully comprehend it all... but He continues to quietly show me all three of those characteristics with people He brings into my life. And in some of my lowest moments, I need to remember - He's allowed it - to show me that ultimately He's in charge and that He wants to bring me through it. He loves me - He loves you... we have to allow ourselves to be loved and to be molded into His perfect work. Which was always His plan to begin with.

The last Sunday in January 2012

I'm feeling extremely grateful for self-control at the moment. I am about 1.5 weeks into my eating better, counting calories and working out regimen. In that time I've lost 7 pounds which continues to spur me on. I'm thankful for My Fitness Pal and Pinterest for also inspiring me. I've many more pounds to lose, but I needed a good start to help me press on. Whew!


Life is pretty good. Before church this morning I went for a run. I've been using an app called Couch To 5K . It's not so that I can train for races, but merely for the fact that I want to start running. I have never been a running enthusiast. In fact, I hate running. My friends all know this to be true because I'm very vocal about it. So when one of my workout buddy's told me to try out this app because she thought I'd appreciate running better, I decided to trust her and I downloaded it. I've got to say, I love the app, I love the program and I'm actually anxious to do the running workouts. Last week I ran 4 days. That's huge. And one of those days was a snow day!


After my run, I quickly cam home, fueled the body and go the kids read for church. I was blessed with a great message from the Radical Road series Pastor Romberger is preaching on. Came home for lunch and then decided that we should all go for an afternoon hike...something that we've never done as a family before. We loaded the kids and the dogs into the car and headed south just about 10 minutes outside of Denver to a trail that I found on the internet.

After working for 9.5 hours yesterday coaching, I was anxious for some down time and so today was perfect. I'm content right now. I tweeted the other day that there's something about the feeling of control upon your life. When I am in control of my eating and my spiritual life - I feel as though everything else in my life is manageable.  It really was a great Sunday Family Funday. 

Deuteronomy 31:6

I'm claiming this verse for the day - week - month - probably for a life time. Ha. 


⁶ Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”


I continue to remind myself that as each struggle and challenge that comes my way - that I must deal with it and handle it because another one will more than likely come along shortly there after. SO if this is the case, I can only hope and pray that I handle each challenge gracefully. 


Grace: "Seemingly effortless beauty or charm of movement, form, or proportion." 


God's definition of Grace: "unmerited favor".


Either way - I want to be able to handle challenges thrown my way better than I have in the past. Which is a challenge in itself as well.


While I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve and say that my life is an open book... there are still deeper issues, hurts and pains that I rarely share with others.


Today, this moment in my life, I feel a loss of control, lack of joy, uncertainty, and frustration towards God. I've been told it's alright to be mad at Him. Why not? I have a relationship with Him and in relationships you talk stuff out and say how you feel. So yes, I'm frustrated because everything to this point in my life seems so...not what I expected. 


All my life I've grown up with people around me telling me to, "trust Him, to ask God for answers, believe that He has a plan for every thing that happens." Honestly, me and trust - well I'm not so great at that. And while I have asked Him for answers and believed that He has plans for me, I've felt like that's often been an easy line for people to say to me when they can't come up with good answers or find the right words to say when I am hurting. In the end, I come up empty and feel more alone.


I go to church. I'm in a Bible Study. I pray. Yet, I still feel so far away from those around me and from God Himself. Where is God? Why don't I feel Him the way others feel Him? Why do I feel as though He's always pissed off at me and trying to continually throw down consequences on me for past sins and mistakes I've committed? Why does doing the "right thing" feel as though I'm getting nowhere? 


AND SO...with all this in mind, I've decided that I need to seek out my Heavenly Father more. I heard on the radio just the other day that if you want to hear God, you must make time to listen. In the midst of all my life's chaos and madness, I don't really think I've taken the time to listen.


OK, so here's my disclaimer. When people blog about spirituality and issues related, I feel like they can come across as a know-it-all holier than thou person without fault. Let me tell you right now - this is not me. I'm full of faults, sin, and imperfections as far as the eye can see... I just know that I'm tired of doing this all on my own. AND if there truly is a God that loves me and wants to go through my fires with me, I'm going to give Him a shot. 


So I'm claiming this verse - for so many reasons but mostly because right now I need courage to face my trials, my stresses, and mainly - just life in general. 


God --- give me strength --- give me grace!

Page 3 of 366

Coffee in hand, here I am sitting down at the computer ready to type up my first blog entry for the new year. 3 days in and I'm feeling pretty good. Really good actually.

New Year's Eve I got back in touch with a friend, we'd had a huge falling out about two months ago and we're starting to work through it. It feels so good to know that particular friendship is not completely dead in the water. I love my friends and family. My life isn't based on material items that I can accumulate, but instead on the relationships that are formed. I'm certain that in my own life - my purpose in life is all about relationships. I eat, crave and need relationships to keep me going. Not with just friends but within my own family. I love my family and friends. Wait, I've already said that.

I'm not setting huge resolutions for 2012. I've been doing the new year - start fresh thing for nearly 38 years now and well... I'm realistic. I just want to make the best of myself and try to do better than last year. Who agrees with me that a messy house causes stress? So I started getting emails from FlyLady in hopes of decluttering and making my home a place where not only I want to come home to, but others as well. In the past few years I've realized that I don't want a huge house because it's just too much to clean and I'd be stressed all the time. Instead, my dream home is a smaller home with character and charm, and let's not forget the wrap around porch in front. Big enough to entertain others, but small enough to keep my family close to me.

Lastly on my heart... my workouts. Of course. So a few days ago I put my membership on hold at the Crossfit box I've been WODing at for the past year. It was somewhat of a hard decision for me, but I'm having a hard time separating myself from the cost of it and the financial obligations I have with the kids and gymnastics and sorts. I've started running. No, I'm not kidding. Those of you that have known me for years know I ran track and field in college on a scholarship... and yet - running anything more than 200m = pure hatred. Well, I'm trying to overcome that. With the encouragement from a friend, I downloaded the Couch To 5K app to my phone and I've started doing the workouts. Crazy, but I kind of like them, almost to the point where I'm looking forward to the run for the day.

I definitely want to get back to Crossfit, I am missing it already. I've just figured out this past year that I need more cardio in my life. It's been over a year now since I resigned from teaching aerobics. Do I miss it? Not in the least... but I've gotta say - that cardio helped me out more than I knew at the time. I've got a goal to lose a significant amount of weight. I'm not sure how long it will take, but I need to do it. Pray for me to stay motivated. I'll need encouragement as well from my friends and family. I know how this journey goes, I've done it before. It's hard and tough and as much as I don't want to tackle it - I know I must.

WOW. Did I just write all that? I remember when I first started this blog, many moons ago it was originally so that I could encourage others and motivate others to be amazing. As much as I'd still like it to be that way, I've decided to take it in another direction and just blog about myself, family and day-to-day activities. A more personal blog. I'll probably lose a few of you (sadly) but for me - I need this therapy. My FB page though I'm trying to keep a more upbeat positive vibe. Check it out if we're not friends yet!

Happy New Year!

My Sweet Em

Every year around this time for the past 4 years I've been to a State Gymnastics Meet for my daughter Emily. This year was no exception. It was this past Saturday over at 5280 in Wheat Ridge. It was at 8am - the weather was awful... snowing like crazy and the roads were terrible. Since we weren't sure how long it was going to take to get to the gym and we didn't want to be late - we left at 6:45am. Of course we were about a half hour early.

She had her best meet ever for the season. I am so proud of her! AND now she gets about 33 days before she begins a new season... as an Level 7 Optional team gymnast. Very cool --- and very long season for our little girl.

Here's the link to her meet - Emily's Level 6 State Meet

Saturday Six

1. If you could spend one day as a member of the opposite sex and a different race, would you stay closer to the places you currently frequent, or would you try to spend your time in a place where more people like your current form would go?

---I'd probably stay close to the places I currently frequent because then I'd get a perspective from the other side which would give me better understanding into the opposite sex and why they do the things that they do when they are around me.

2. Of the following three types of presidential candidates, which type would you be most likely to vote for in 2012:
A) Someone who supported all of your concerns and got every bill you supported passed …but was unscrupulous and often lied to get where he is.
B) Someone whose political views were nearly the opposite of yours, who was only able to pass a handful of bills you didn’t want passed…but who was completely honest and ethical all the time.
C) Someone who was middle of the road, passed bills that tended to favor compromise more than any one side of the issue, and wasusually (but not always) ethical and honest.

---Whoa, that's tough. Probably A, even though I am not a fan of lying.

3. You learn that your best friend’s spouse is carrying on an affair, and that person realizes that you know the secret. He or she begs for time, promising that he (or she) will reveal all to your best friend. How long are you willing to give the cheater to confess before you will step in and let your friend know yourself?

---Not long. He'd need to come clean with her in just a matter of days.

4. If you had to give up one of your five senses, which one would you be most unwilling to live without?

---Taste... then maybe I'd start losing weight?

5. What would you say is your biggest character strength?

---Moral conviction. A strength and a weakness.

6. Which seasonal or holiday movie do you least look forward to this time of year?

---ELF

My Loves

November came and went and I hardly had a moment to breathe. There's so much to be thankful for in my life.

Things I currently LOVE:

*My husband - he works so hard for the family, and on top of it he loves me - some days I'm not even sure why.
*My kids - they truly are my life. They are freakin' smart, whitty, and talented... I couldn't be more proud!
*My friends - they lift my spirit, they text me on my cool cellular devices, and they let me talk about myself without interrupting.
*Crossfit - no matter how much it kicks my butt, I keep going back and back again.
*The gymnasts I coach - they are so stinkin' cute, talented, and sometimes they can say and do the most amazing things that lift my spirits and make me the happiest coach ever.
*Sorrels - silly I know, but it's snowing like crazy today and I'm so grateful that I actually bought a pair at Nordstroms a month ago. Yay boots. Wheeee!!!
*Samsung Galaxy S II - wow, this phone is sick. I've only had it for less than a week and the phone I had before that was pretty cool too (HTC Amaze), but this is beautiful.
*Wells Fargo - for internet banking and the ability to transfer funds via online. Love it!
*Mission Hills Church - we don't get to go as often as I'd like because it's been gymnastics season, but I do love the people, pastor, and the activities we're a part of there.
*My LG tablet - gosh it's cool. Now I rarely have to log on to my computer and I can take it with me everywhere.
*Netflix - seriously awesome to watch a gazillion TV shows, some that I've not even heard of.
*Melatonin - yay sleep!

I would include my chi-pin Cooper, but these days he barks at every moving object and chews up any stuffed animal the kids leave on the floor. Love - yes, like - no.

Argh

I need to do it. I have to. I've got to start losing weight. I'm awful at it. I can get a good start for a week but after that I begin to lose momentum. So wish me luck and send me good ju-ju cuz this journey is going to be long.

Fresh Starts

Just dropped the kids off at school... I've now got a 5th grader and a 2nd grader. When did I become so old? Wow.

It's good to be back on a schedule again, or at least working towards getting back on a schedule again. It's always a little tough in the beginning.

Over the summer someone or some people came into our house and just destroyed it. Ha ha ha. I am still trying to restore some sort of order among all the chaos. I'd say it's because our house is too small, but I really don't think that's the case. I just think that we're a little bit unorganized... okay, a lot a bit. It's the initial stages of organization that are hard and frustrating to me. I see the clutter and just don't even know where to begin. Ahhhh. Tell me you understand?

Along with the new school year starting - a new gymnastics season begins as well and I am already in stress mode. I need to relax, and my husband tells me I get this way every year at this time... I just don't know what the other teams have out there and how they are going to look.

So this is it for now... a happy beginning to a new school year to all of you! Until next time - be amazing!

CrossFit - Oh Yeah!

OKay - so I started doing CrossFit back in January...this after resigning from almost 7 years of teaching Jazzercise. I didn't go but once a week... and there were times that I'd miss a week or two at a time. I didn't want to be too anxious about hopping back into another workout program after doing Jazzercise for so long.

I started tracking my workouts the end of March. In that time I found my max on numerous lifts:

* Push Press - 100#

* Back Squat - 215#

* Shoulder Press - 85#

*Dead Lift - 225#

*Clean & Jerk - 115#

*Front Squat - 155#

*Behind the neck Jerk - 85#

*Power Snatch - 85#

*Overhead Squats - 75#

*Hang Squat Clean - 100#

*Bench Press - 115#

I'm not satisfied with all that. I want and will go up in the next few months. I'll repost at a later date.

A few other goals I'm keeping close to my heart:

*Climbing the rope at the gym I coach at. I'm giving myself until the end of the year.

*Losing about 15-20 pounds. I think I'm in the zone - finally... so here's hoping that I can get it done.

*Competing in a local CrossFit competition? Ya never know. BUT I do like to have goals to work towards - it keeps me going back to CrossFit and wanting to push my body to it's limits.

Another thing I'm excited about is that I've really grown to love CrossFit and all the crazy intense workouts. I'm currently going 3x a week but am considering upping my workouts to 5x a week beginning June!

Lastly, I've met some really great people and made some fun friends. I'm so lucky to have found such a great program and group of hard working people. I <3 my trainers at Crossfit and the workouts. I can't say enough. LOL.

Mid-January... already?

It's hard to believe that we're a little bit past the mid-way point for January. I did set a goal for this year... and of course it's completely attainable. All I want to do is maintain a good workout schedule. I'm no longer teaching classes of my own so I need to continue working out. When I quit teaching in October I managed to take about a 3 month break. Now I'm rearing to go.

I'm anxious to see what the new year brings. What surprises (hopefully pleasant) might come? So I've managed to talk my workout partner into doing a few workout field trips. What are those you ask? Well I'm glad you're wondering (LOL) --- each month I want to try out a new and different workout - one that I might not normally try. And in my typical blogger fashion... I will leave you my thoughts.

So for January we're going to try Crossfit. Totally excited - and a little bit freaked as I've heard that it will kick my tail. I'm hoping that I'll be able to walk out of the gym when it's all over.

What else for 2011? Hmmmm... so I've also started a fun little project. I'm calling it my Mobile 360 Project because each day for the next year I'm snapping a photo w my cell phone and mini-blogging on it. It's on my FB page - check it out if you haven't already. (You may need to friend me of course.)

Just when I thought gymnastics season was finished I am thrown with Winterfest. It's in mid-February and I've got a couple Level 4's and 5's that are going to compete it. I'm excited don't get me wrong, I just kind of forgot about it and now it's quickly approaching.

So that's it - the short of it anyways. BTW, it's Girl Scout Cookie time ---do you need any? We're selling!

It's gonna be alright

Do you know when you need help? Can you feel when you're drowning and recognize the fact that you alone can no longer pull yourself up and out? While the thought of actually seeking out help may seem a bit humiliating at first, I believe that eventually you work past that and actually begin to see differences.

So alright, this past year of my life --- challenging to say the least. While I struggled with so many internal issues and did my best to try and hide it from the rest of the world, it began to effect the external and I could no longer contain it. You know how it works, at first it starts out somewhat small and over time if not dealt with, it becomes this humongous pit where you just don't even think you can get out.

Yes, that was me. I'm not gonna lie. How many mornings did I lie in bed trying to convince myself that there really was a good reason to get up for the day? Many days I'd sit alone on the couch of my living room and just cry... for no reason... other than I just felt like crying. Or the few times that I actually considered that it might be best if I drove my car into oncoming traffic? My life felt empty, without hope and I felt like I was worthless and forgotten by those people around me.

It's a dark place indeed. Feeling hopeless and lonely are two emotions that frighten me to the core because I feel like it's a bit uncontrollable. And I realize that when you get to a certain point like I did, you can't necessarily "make yourself" pull it together and suck it up. It's amazing if you can even muster the energy and strength to throw some clothes on, fix the hair so that you can take the kids to school that morning.

So I asked for help. Amazingly... because when you get to your lowest point in life sometimes you can't even do that. I was surprised at the outcome. After about eight months of going through this alone I have finally begun to share with others about all that has been going on - past and present and realized that because I internalized everything no one even had a clue. Talking it out with the few people in my life that I knew would love me unconditionally (at least I hope that's the case) was huge for me. And it allowed me to officially take hang up the cape and no longer be superwoman. That's freeing in itself.

BUT what I want to encourage even more, is if you are struggling and are feeling life pushing you down to the point where you just can't breathe anymore. Seek out help. Even if it's just telling someone close to you that you can't do it any more and that you need help but you don't know how to get that help.

It's going to be okay. Will the road to recovery be hard? Quite possibly - I see long days ahead of me with the tissue box close by... but at least now I'm not doing it alone. AND I know you can do it to because I think that deep down inside you somewhere is that person longing to be amazing - but s/he might need a little help finding that greatness.

You are amazing. Seek it. Believe it. Live it.

My Little Girl

My daughter is one of the most amazing people I know. I think I say it often, but I really believe it's true. She is strong mentally and physically and for that I think she's amazing!

She is my gymnast that can mess up on an event in competition and it won't cause her to go downhill the rest of the meet. She's strong enough to realize her mistake(s), but even stronger to not let it effect her. I could definitely take some lessons from her.

So she's having an amazing season. And I'm so proud of her! We're all very proud of her - her family & her coaches. Here's a vid from this weekend - we had a meet against one of our biggest competitors in the state. She missed winning the meet by .05!!! Holy cow. Next time - we'll get it.

Get Back Up

I gotta admit, my daughter is one of the most amazing people I know. She is the type of kid that decides what she wants, sets her goals and then goes after it. She never ceases to amaze me. She had a big gymnastics meet this past weekend and on her first event (bars) she had a fall. What a way to start out the meet. She could have decided that this fall was going to set the tone for her meet and let the rest of it go down hill, but instead she chose to continue to press on and she ended up taking second place overall, only missing the first place title by less than .50 of a point.

My point being... there's going to be falls along our life's journey, but don't let them bring you down. Get back up, press on, and realize that you can still be simply amazing!

Taking Inventory

October has arrived and we're now very much into our gymnastics season. Not quite to the halfway point, but not at the very beginning either. My world is spinning about 75 mph and I'm lucky if I get a moment to go to the bathroom these days. I really like the girls I'm coaching at our gym and I'm loving just about every minute of it. I'm there every day of the week but Mondays and when I'm not there I'm worried that I'm missing out on the happenings. So much of my life is consumed with gymnastics, but I'm thankful that I have a daughter for a gymnast so that I'm in the gym just about the same hours that she's working out.

I'm surprised by all the soul searching I've done lately and how I've been taking a lot of self-inventory. I find myself looking at my own faults and imperfections while helping to point out the outwardly corrections that need to be made with the girls that I coach. Two separate things I know and yet similar in many ways as well.

Do you ever just take a look at yourself and think, "what in the world has happened to me over time and who have I become?" Lately I've found myself thinking this a lot... and I don't like it. I don't like that so much of who I've become is not who I really wanted to end up like. Okay, don't get me wrong - I have an amazing husband, awesome children, a pretty good gig at the gym, and the friends I keep close to my heart take my breath away when I think of them. But the inside of me feels so out of control at the moment and I feel anxious and stressed.

So me being the planner, I want to find a solution to all this inward madness because as the clock continues to click and the moment passes I desire to be so much more and feel as though time is running out. As a coach it's my job to make my girls better gymnasts and encourage them to find it in themselves to be better for themselves. But the crazy thing about it all is that I hear myself talking and feel like I'm the one that needs to be better - that I'm capable of so much more than what I'm doing at the moment. Do you feel that too?

Let's work together to make ourselves better on a daily basis and as we begin to do that then we can begin to change the world around us. It's starts from within. Find it - and be amazing!