Shaw In the City

The last Sunday in January 2012

2012-01-29T20:34:00.002-07:00

I'm feeling extremely grateful for self-control at the moment. I am about 1.5 weeks into my eating better, counting calories and working out regimen. In that time I've lost 7 pounds which continues to spur me on. I'm thankful for My Fitness Pal and Pinterest for also inspiring me. I've many more pounds to lose, but I needed a good start to help me press on. Whew!

Life is pretty good. Before church this morning I went for a run. I've been using an app called Couch To 5K . It's not so that I can train for races, but merely for the fact that I want to start running. I have never been a running enthusiast. In fact, I hate running. My friends all know this to be true because I'm very vocal about it. So when one of my workout buddy's told me to try out this app because she thought I'd appreciate running better, I decided to trust her and I downloaded it. I've got to say, I love the app, I love the program and I'm actually anxious to do the running workouts. Last week I ran 4 days. That's huge. And one of those days was a snow day!

After my run, I quickly cam home, fueled the body and go the kids read for church. I was blessed with a great message from the Radical Road series Pastor Romberger is preaching on. Came home for lunch and then decided that we should all go for an afternoon hike...something that we've never done as a family before. We loaded the kids and the dogs into the car and headed south just about 10 minutes outside of Denver to a trail that I found on the internet.

After working for 9.5 hours yesterday coaching, I was anxious for some down time and so today was perfect. I'm content right now. I tweeted the other day that there's something about the feeling of control upon your life. When I am in control of my eating and my spiritual life - I feel as though everything else in my life is manageable. It really was a great Sunday Family Funday.

Deuteronomy 31:6

2012-01-24T09:04:00.000-07:00

I'm claiming this verse for the day - week - month - probably for a life time. Ha.

⁶ Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

I continue to remind myself that as each struggle and challenge that comes my way - that I must deal with it and handle it because another one will more than likely come along shortly there after. SO if this is the case, I can only hope and pray that I handle each challenge gracefully.

Grace: "Seemingly effortless beauty or charm of movement, form, or proportion."

God's definition of Grace: "unmerited favor".

Either way - I want to be able to handle challenges thrown my way better than I have in the past. Which is a challenge in itself as well.

While I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve and say that my life is an open book... there are still deeper issues, hurts and pains that I rarely share with others.

Today, this moment in my life, I feel a loss of control, lack of joy, uncertainty, and frustration towards God. I've been told it's alright to be mad at Him. Why not? I have a relationship with Him and in relationships you talk stuff out and say how you feel. So yes, I'm frustrated because everything to this point in my life seems so...not what I expected.

All my life I've grown up with people around me telling me to, "trust Him, to ask God for answers, believe that He has a plan for every thing that happens." Honestly, me and trust - well I'm not so great at that. And while I have asked Him for answers and believed that He has plans for me, I've felt like that's often been an easy line for people to say to me when they can't come up with good answers or find the right words to say when I am hurting. In the end, I come up empty and feel more alone.

I go to church. I'm in a Bible Study. I pray. Yet, I still feel so far away from those around me and from God Himself. Where is God? Why don't I feel Him the way others feel Him? Why do I feel as though He's always pissed off at me and trying to continually throw down consequences on me for past sins and mistakes I've committed? Why does doing the "right thing" feel as though I'm getting nowhere?

AND SO...with all this in mind, I've decided that I need to seek out my Heavenly Father more. I heard on the radio just the other day that if you want to hear God, you must make time to listen. In the midst of all my life's chaos and madness, I don't really think I've taken the time to listen.

OK, so here's my disclaimer. When people blog about spirituality and issues related, I feel like they can come across as a know-it-all holier than thou person without fault. Let me tell you right now - this is not me. I'm full of faults, sin, and imperfections as far as the eye can see... I just know that I'm tired of doing this all on my own. AND if there truly is a God that loves me and wants to go through my fires with me, I'm going to give Him a shot.

So I'm claiming this verse - for so many reasons but mostly because right now I need courage to face my trials, my stresses, and mainly - just life in general.

God --- give me strength --- give me grace!

Page 3 of 366

2012-01-03T08:18:00.001-07:00

Coffee in hand, here I am sitting down at the computer ready to type up my first blog entry for the new year. 3 days in and I'm feeling pretty good. Really good actually.

New Year's Eve I got back in touch with a friend, we'd had a huge falling out about two months ago and we're starting to work through it. It feels so good to know that particular friendship is not completely dead in the water. I love my friends and family. My life isn't based on material items that I can accumulate, but instead on the relationships that are formed. I'm certain that in my own life - my purpose in life is all about relationships. I eat, crave and need relationships to keep me going. Not with just friends but within my own family. I love my family and friends. Wait, I've already said that.

I'm not setting huge resolutions for 2012. I've been doing the new year - start fresh thing for nearly 38 years now and well... I'm realistic. I just want to make the best of myself and try to do better than last year. Who agrees with me that a messy house causes stress? So I started getting emails from FlyLady in hopes of decluttering and making my home a place where not only I want to come home to, but others as well. In the past few years I've realized that I don't want a huge house because it's just too much to clean and I'd be stressed all the time. Instead, my dream home is a smaller home with character and charm, and let's not forget the wrap around porch in front. Big enough to entertain others, but small enough to keep my family close to me.

Lastly on my heart... my workouts. Of course. So a few days ago I put my membership on hold at the Crossfit box I've been WODing at for the past year. It was somewhat of a hard decision for me, but I'm having a hard time separating myself from the cost of it and the financial obligations I have with the kids and gymnastics and sorts. I've started running. No, I'm not kidding. Those of you that have known me for years know I ran track and field in college on a scholarship... and yet - running anything more than 200m = pure hatred. Well, I'm trying to overcome that. With the encouragement from a friend, I downloaded the Couch To 5K app to my phone and I've started doing the workouts. Crazy, but I kind of like them, almost to the point where I'm looking forward to the run for the day.

I definitely want to get back to Crossfit, I am missing it already. I've just figured out this past year that I need more cardio in my life. It's been over a year now since I resigned from teaching aerobics. Do I miss it? Not in the least... but I've gotta say - that cardio helped me out more than I knew at the time. I've got a goal to lose a significant amount of weight. I'm not sure how long it will take, but I need to do it. Pray for me to stay motivated. I'll need encouragement as well from my friends and family. I know how this journey goes, I've done it before. It's hard and tough and as much as I don't want to tackle it - I know I must.

WOW. Did I just write all that? I remember when I first started this blog, many moons ago it was originally so that I could encourage others and motivate others to be amazing. As much as I'd still like it to be that way, I've decided to take it in another direction and just blog about myself, family and day-to-day activities. A more personal blog. I'll probably lose a few of you (sadly) but for me - I need this therapy. My FB page though I'm trying to keep a more upbeat positive vibe. Check it out if we're not friends yet!

Happy New Year!

My Sweet Em

2011-12-05T21:27:00.001-07:00

Every year around this time for the past 4 years I've been to a State Gymnastics Meet for my daughter Emily. This year was no exception. It was this past Saturday over at 5280 in Wheat Ridge. It was at 8am - the weather was awful... snowing like crazy and the roads were terrible. Since we weren't sure how long it was going to take to get to the gym and we didn't want to be late - we left at 6:45am. Of course we were about a half hour early.

She had her best meet ever for the season. I am so proud of her! AND now she gets about 33 days before she begins a new season... as an Level 7 Optional team gymnast. Very cool --- and very long season for our little girl.

Here's the link to her meet - Emily's Level 6 State Meet

Saturday Six

2011-12-03T05:46:00.001-07:00

1. If you could spend one day as a member of the opposite sex and a different race, would you stay closer to the places you currently frequent, or would you try to spend your time in a place where more people like your current form would go?

---I'd probably stay close to the places I currently frequent because then I'd get a perspective from the other side which would give me better understanding into the opposite sex and why they do the things that they do when they are around me.

2. Of the following three types of presidential candidates, which type would you be most likely to vote for in 2012:
A) Someone who supported all of your concerns and got every bill you supported passed …but was unscrupulous and often lied to get where he is.
B) Someone whose political views were nearly the opposite of yours, who was only able to pass a handful of bills you didn’t want passed…but who was completely honest and ethical all the time.
C) Someone who was middle of the road, passed bills that tended to favor compromise more than any one side of the issue, and wasusually (but not always) ethical and honest.

---Whoa, that's tough. Probably A, even though I am not a fan of lying.

3. You learn that your best friend’s spouse is carrying on an affair, and that person realizes that you know the secret. He or she begs for time, promising that he (or she) will reveal all to your best friend. How long are you willing to give the cheater to confess before you will step in and let your friend know yourself?

---Not long. He'd need to come clean with her in just a matter of days.

4. If you had to give up one of your five senses, which one would you be most unwilling to live without?

---Taste... then maybe I'd start losing weight?

5. What would you say is your biggest character strength?

---Moral conviction. A strength and a weakness.

6. Which seasonal or holiday movie do you least look forward to this time of year?

---ELF

My Loves

2011-12-01T12:00:00.001-07:00

November came and went and I hardly had a moment to breathe. There's so much to be thankful for in my life.

Things I currently LOVE:

*My husband - he works so hard for the family, and on top of it he loves me - some days I'm not even sure why.
*My kids - they truly are my life. They are freakin' smart, whitty, and talented... I couldn't be more proud!
*My friends - they lift my spirit, they text me on my cool cellular devices, and they let me talk about myself without interrupting.
*Crossfit - no matter how much it kicks my butt, I keep going back and back again.
*The gymnasts I coach - they are so stinkin' cute, talented, and sometimes they can say and do the most amazing things that lift my spirits and make me the happiest coach ever.
*Sorrels - silly I know, but it's snowing like crazy today and I'm so grateful that I actually bought a pair at Nordstroms a month ago. Yay boots. Wheeee!!!
*Samsung Galaxy S II - wow, this phone is sick. I've only had it for less than a week and the phone I had before that was pretty cool too (HTC Amaze), but this is beautiful.
*Wells Fargo - for internet banking and the ability to transfer funds via online. Love it!
*Mission Hills Church - we don't get to go as often as I'd like because it's been gymnastics season, but I do love the people, pastor, and the activities we're a part of there.
*My LG tablet - gosh it's cool. Now I rarely have to log on to my computer and I can take it with me everywhere.
*Netflix - seriously awesome to watch a gazillion TV shows, some that I've not even heard of.
*Melatonin - yay sleep!

I would include my chi-pin Cooper, but these days he barks at every moving object and chews up any stuffed animal the kids leave on the floor. Love - yes, like - no.

Argh

2011-11-14T12:24:00.001-07:00

I need to do it. I have to. I've got to start losing weight. I'm awful at it. I can get a good start for a week but after that I begin to lose momentum. So wish me luck and send me good ju-ju cuz this journey is going to be long.

Fresh Starts

2011-08-22T08:43:00.003-06:00

Just dropped the kids off at school... I've now got a 5th grader and a 2nd grader. When did I become so old? Wow.

It's good to be back on a schedule again, or at least working towards getting back on a schedule again. It's always a little tough in the beginning.

Over the summer someone or some people came into our house and just destroyed it. Ha ha ha. I am still trying to restore some sort of order among all the chaos. I'd say it's because our house is too small, but I really don't think that's the case. I just think that we're a little bit unorganized... okay, a lot a bit. It's the initial stages of organization that are hard and frustrating to me. I see the clutter and just don't even know where to begin. Ahhhh. Tell me you understand?

Along with the new school year starting - a new gymnastics season begins as well and I am already in stress mode. I need to relax, and my husband tells me I get this way every year at this time... I just don't know what the other teams have out there and how they are going to look.

So this is it for now... a happy beginning to a new school year to all of you! Until next time - be amazing!

CrossFit - Oh Yeah!

2011-05-11T22:18:00.000-06:00

OKay - so I started doing CrossFit back in January...this after resigning from almost 7 years of teaching Jazzercise. I didn't go but once a week... and there were times that I'd miss a week or two at a time. I didn't want to be too anxious about hopping back into another workout program after doing Jazzercise for so long.

I started tracking my workouts the end of March. In that time I found my max on numerous lifts:

* Push Press - 100#

* Back Squat - 215#

* Shoulder Press - 85#

*Dead Lift - 225#

*Clean & Jerk - 115#

*Front Squat - 155#

*Behind the neck Jerk - 85#

*Power Snatch - 85#

*Overhead Squats - 75#

*Hang Squat Clean - 100#

*Bench Press - 115#

I'm not satisfied with all that. I want and will go up in the next few months. I'll repost at a later date.

A few other goals I'm keeping close to my heart:

*Climbing the rope at the gym I coach at. I'm giving myself until the end of the year.

*Losing about 15-20 pounds. I think I'm in the zone - finally... so here's hoping that I can get it done.

*Competing in a local CrossFit competition? Ya never know. BUT I do like to have goals to work towards - it keeps me going back to CrossFit and wanting to push my body to it's limits.

Another thing I'm excited about is that I've really grown to love CrossFit and all the crazy intense workouts. I'm currently going 3x a week but am considering upping my workouts to 5x a week beginning June!

Lastly, I've met some really great people and made some fun friends. I'm so lucky to have found such a great program and group of hard working people. I <3 my trainers at Crossfit and the workouts. I can't say enough. LOL.

Mid-January... already?

2011-01-20T06:16:00.003-07:00

It's hard to believe that we're a little bit past the mid-way point for January. I did set a goal for this year... and of course it's completely attainable. All I want to do is maintain a good workout schedule. I'm no longer teaching classes of my own so I need to continue working out. When I quit teaching in October I managed to take about a 3 month break. Now I'm rearing to go.

I'm anxious to see what the new year brings. What surprises (hopefully pleasant) might come? So I've managed to talk my workout partner into doing a few workout field trips. What are those you ask? Well I'm glad you're wondering (LOL) --- each month I want to try out a new and different workout - one that I might not normally try. And in my typical blogger fashion... I will leave you my thoughts.

So for January we're going to try Crossfit. Totally excited - and a little bit freaked as I've heard that it will kick my tail. I'm hoping that I'll be able to walk out of the gym when it's all over.

What else for 2011? Hmmmm... so I've also started a fun little project. I'm calling it my Mobile 360 Project because each day for the next year I'm snapping a photo w my cell phone and mini-blogging on it. It's on my FB page - check it out if you haven't already. (You may need to friend me of course.)

Just when I thought gymnastics season was finished I am thrown with Winterfest. It's in mid-February and I've got a couple Level 4's and 5's that are going to compete it. I'm excited don't get me wrong, I just kind of forgot about it and now it's quickly approaching.

So that's it - the short of it anyways. BTW, it's Girl Scout Cookie time ---do you need any? We're selling!

It's gonna be alright

2010-11-18T08:55:00.005-07:00

Do you know when you need help? Can you feel when you're drowning and recognize the fact that you alone can no longer pull yourself up and out? While the thought of actually seeking out help may seem a bit humiliating at first, I believe that eventually you work past that and actually begin to see differences.

So alright, this past year of my life --- challenging to say the least. While I struggled with so many internal issues and did my best to try and hide it from the rest of the world, it began to effect the external and I could no longer contain it. You know how it works, at first it starts out somewhat small and over time if not dealt with, it becomes this humongous pit where you just don't even think you can get out.

Yes, that was me. I'm not gonna lie. How many mornings did I lie in bed trying to convince myself that there really was a good reason to get up for the day? Many days I'd sit alone on the couch of my living room and just cry... for no reason... other than I just felt like crying. Or the few times that I actually considered that it might be best if I drove my car into oncoming traffic? My life felt empty, without hope and I felt like I was worthless and forgotten by those people around me.

It's a dark place indeed. Feeling hopeless and lonely are two emotions that frighten me to the core because I feel like it's a bit uncontrollable. And I realize that when you get to a certain point like I did, you can't necessarily "make yourself" pull it together and suck it up. It's amazing if you can even muster the energy and strength to throw some clothes on, fix the hair so that you can take the kids to school that morning.

So I asked for help. Amazingly... because when you get to your lowest point in life sometimes you can't even do that. I was surprised at the outcome. After about eight months of going through this alone I have finally begun to share with others about all that has been going on - past and present and realized that because I internalized everything no one even had a clue. Talking it out with the few people in my life that I knew would love me unconditionally (at least I hope that's the case) was huge for me. And it allowed me to officially take hang up the cape and no longer be superwoman. That's freeing in itself.

BUT what I want to encourage even more, is if you are struggling and are feeling life pushing you down to the point where you just can't breathe anymore. Seek out help. Even if it's just telling someone close to you that you can't do it any more and that you need help but you don't know how to get that help.

It's going to be okay. Will the road to recovery be hard? Quite possibly - I see long days ahead of me with the tissue box close by... but at least now I'm not doing it alone. AND I know you can do it to because I think that deep down inside you somewhere is that person longing to be amazing - but s/he might need a little help finding that greatness.

You are amazing. Seek it. Believe it. Live it.

My Little Girl

2010-11-09T08:41:00.003-07:00

My daughter is one of the most amazing people I know. I think I say it often, but I really believe it's true. She is strong mentally and physically and for that I think she's amazing!

She is my gymnast that can mess up on an event in competition and it won't cause her to go downhill the rest of the meet. She's strong enough to realize her mistake(s), but even stronger to not let it effect her. I could definitely take some lessons from her.

So she's having an amazing season. And I'm so proud of her! We're all very proud of her - her family & her coaches. Here's a vid from this weekend - we had a meet against one of our biggest competitors in the state. She missed winning the meet by .05!!! Holy cow. Next time - we'll get it.

Get Back Up

2010-10-26T08:33:00.004-06:00

I gotta admit, my daughter is one of the most amazing people I know. She is the type of kid that decides what she wants, sets her goals and then goes after it. She never ceases to amaze me. She had a big gymnastics meet this past weekend and on her first event (bars) she had a fall. What a way to start out the meet. She could have decided that this fall was going to set the tone for her meet and let the rest of it go down hill, but instead she chose to continue to press on and she ended up taking second place overall, only missing the first place title by less than .50 of a point.

My point being... there's going to be falls along our life's journey, but don't let them bring you down. Get back up, press on, and realize that you can still be simply amazing!

Taking Inventory

2010-10-03T01:05:00.004-06:00

October has arrived and we're now very much into our gymnastics season. Not quite to the halfway point, but not at the very beginning either. My world is spinning about 75 mph and I'm lucky if I get a moment to go to the bathroom these days. I really like the girls I'm coaching at our gym and I'm loving just about every minute of it. I'm there every day of the week but Mondays and when I'm not there I'm worried that I'm missing out on the happenings. So much of my life is consumed with gymnastics, but I'm thankful that I have a daughter for a gymnast so that I'm in the gym just about the same hours that she's working out.

I'm surprised by all the soul searching I've done lately and how I've been taking a lot of self-inventory. I find myself looking at my own faults and imperfections while helping to point out the outwardly corrections that need to be made with the girls that I coach. Two separate things I know and yet similar in many ways as well.

Do you ever just take a look at yourself and think, "what in the world has happened to me over time and who have I become?" Lately I've found myself thinking this a lot... and I don't like it. I don't like that so much of who I've become is not who I really wanted to end up like. Okay, don't get me wrong - I have an amazing husband, awesome children, a pretty good gig at the gym, and the friends I keep close to my heart take my breath away when I think of them. But the inside of me feels so out of control at the moment and I feel anxious and stressed.

So me being the planner, I want to find a solution to all this inward madness because as the clock continues to click and the moment passes I desire to be so much more and feel as though time is running out. As a coach it's my job to make my girls better gymnasts and encourage them to find it in themselves to be better for themselves. But the crazy thing about it all is that I hear myself talking and feel like I'm the one that needs to be better - that I'm capable of so much more than what I'm doing at the moment. Do you feel that too?

Let's work together to make ourselves better on a daily basis and as we begin to do that then we can begin to change the world around us. It's starts from within. Find it - and be amazing!

The End

2010-09-24T06:25:00.004-06:00

I've allowed so much of what I do to define who I am as a person, when that necessarily isn't the case. What I do simply is, what I do. Who I am is my character, personality and being. So if what I do has defined me for so long - what happens when I no longer am "doing" that something?

For the past 6.5 years I've been a fitness instructor, motivating and encouraging other people with their workouts and to live out a healthy lifestyle. It's been an adventure in itself as I've had numerous personal struggles, an occasional personality conflict with a student, a falling out with an owner, and that's not to mention the sound equipment squabbles I've had on a regular basis. All in all, it's been a great learning experience. Over the years I've become a more self-confident and stronger (is that even possible) woman with drive and self-determination to get the job done.

To get the job done... hmmm. The past year and a half has not been an easy one for me as an instructor, my heart hurts thinking about some of the things that I've been through. The learning process has not been an easy one for me but I know it's something that I needed to go through. I've felt my life changing a little bit each day and I could see that something that I used to love so passionately was no longer one of the most important things in my life.

Every year about this time I have to renew my franchise as an instructor and about 6 months ago I really began thinking about whether to do so or not. As the moment approached I continued to really weigh my options and although fearful of my future I started to consider that teaching aerobics might not be a part of it. Of course I was a little scared, working out has been a regular activity for me for the past 7 years and I've always been accountable to that workout knowing that there were students waiting for me at class.

So all this to say, I wrote my letters of resignation yesterday to my district manager and to the center owner letting them know that I'd not be renewing and that I'd finish out October. It's bitter sweet, but even after I hit send, I realized that I had made the right decision. The decision to be finished is a good one for me, I don't see myself as quitting, but instead I've completed my journey.

Here's my last thought on all this: don't finish when you're down, instead finish on top. There have been a few times in the past years when I just wanted to be done with teaching because someone had a complaint about my class or my feelings had been hurt in some way or another, but had I quit then I'd have regret. Finishing now - when I'm happiest as an instructor - I have no regret. Yes, I'm sad - but I also know that I'm in a good place and that I'm doing it for the right reasons. And lastly, don't allow yourself to be defined by what you do - instead, define yourself by who you are and the person that you are becoming.

I will miss the friendships that I've made along the way, my instructor friends and student friends. I have some really awesome memories that I'll treasure always, but you know - for the first time in a very long while my head seems so clear.

Life is short - chase your dreams, live out your moment and laugh often. Give 110% in all that you do and look back on growing pains as stepping stones to a better you. Be amazing!

The Fighter

2010-08-24T20:37:00.004-06:00

I'm a fighter. Yes, I am. BUT I'm not the type that's going to start a brawl in a bar because someone spilled beer on my new cute pair of shoes. Nope, not that kind of a fighter.

I have my goals and I work towards them. If you tell me that I can't do something I will find a way to prove you wrong. Everything inside of me fights to prove who I am and what I am capable of being.

I'll be that girl that picks up my friends fights and tag-teams with them to help pull them through, because I believe in them that much. I know success is attainable and I will fight until it is within my grasp, and then I won't let go once I've got it.

I hope that each one of you is a fighter too, because there are things in life that are just worth fighting for: love, friendship, marriage, family, life. (All monetary items, as you can see. Ha ha ha.) Don't quit. Often times the most difficult and hardest journey leads to the sweetest victory. Know yourself and your limitations and find someone to help you along the way if you need it.

Lastly, people talk so don't listen to them. And then there will be those people that don't talk leaving you wondering if you've got their support or not. Realize that not everyone is secure with themselves and feel as though they've got to bring you and the rest of the world down with them. Don't fall prey to their trap. You are so much better than that.

You are amazing, go be it!

Focus

2010-08-23T06:38:00.002-06:00

Here it is - almost time for our gymnastics season to begin and I can't stress more to my little gymnasts that remaining focused is the key.

Focus: a life lesson indeed!

I tell my girls that the only voice they should listen for is mine. I tell them don't look around the gym - pay attention to the apparatus that you are on and the skills that you are about to do. It's inevitable, one of my gymnasts doesn't hear a word I'm saying because she's too busy looking around the gym at what others are doing and so when it's her turn to step up and go she has no idea what she's supposed to be doing.

Focus!

Not only do I tell girls to focus so that they know what they are doing - but if they don't know what they are doing and they step up and do something completely different and I think they're doing what they're supposed to be doing, they could potentially get hurt because I'm not prepared to spot them on something else.

Another reason why I try to enforce staying focused - because the moment we lose sight of our goal and easily get distracted there's a possibility that we might not be able to regain composure and/or we fall or lose balance.

A little extreme perhaps - but I see it happen all the time at the gym. One of my gymnasts is on the balance beam and she'll be going through a routine and for just a brief moment she forgets that she's on beam and her eyes start to wander and then she falls.

Lack of focus = frustration. So why not just stay focused?

In life there's so much to be focused on - our jobs, our families, our friends, our day to day activities. It's not always easy to remain focused on each, but it is important as we quickly become imbalanced. Don't easily get distracted by the outside noise and the pretty shiny objects glistening. Instead, realize that you goal - whatever it may be is so much greater than that which is trying to draw your attention.

Stay focused - it's hard at times, but you can do it. Your goals are completely within reach and attainable. Stay focused!

Be amazing.

The Cost of Negative Self-Talk

2010-03-31T21:20:00.003-06:00

I so desperately wanted to blog in March. I wish I was more faithful at encouraging and motivating my online and offline friends that are in my life. I've been blessed to come across so many people that in return I too would like to bless others.

March has been a crazy month, but a great one none the less! I normally celebrate birthday week the week of March 5th, but birthday week turned into birthday month this year. (Alas, I need a whole month to celebrate as I have now hit my late 30's.) There are no complaints on my part.

One thing has come to mind this month and that is how frequently I find myself and others using negative self-talk. For those that don't - yay, you are a step ahead of me. For those of you that tend to be a little bit more like me - we need to STOP!

I'm over it.

Have you come to a point in your life where you don't even realize that you're doing it? I usually realize it, after it's already come out of my mouth. Argh! So where does all this negative self-talk come from? From you head of course! You think this kind of stuff. Whether those thoughts in your head are wrong or right, you need to put a filter on it.

As I watch those around me I begin to see a pattern... the ones that continually talk negative about themselves and/or others usually play out as the victim or just seem to be really unhappy with life. Is that really the kind of person that you want to be? I doubt it.

None of us are victims, indefinitely. Yes, it's true - bad things might have happened to you at one time or another, but we must all rise above that. Each moment and opportunity in our lives lead us to another and we are the only ones that can determine our destiny.

It all starts with what's inside of ourselves. You can control the thoughts that are in your head. How badly you want to change is a can be controlled by your heart. Think positively about yourself and about others and it will come across loud and clear in your actions.

Respect yourself enough to love yourself. Love yourself enough to not tear yourself down with negative talk and words. When you begin to love and respect yourself you will find that respecting and loving others comes much easier. It's a never-ending cycle. Perhaps now is the time to fix the cycle if it's broken? You are amazing - allow others to experience just how amazing you truly are!

Be blessed.

In search of fabulous abs - The Denver Post

2010-03-28T01:02:00.000-06:00

In search of fabulous abs - The Denver Post

The Gift Of Others

2010-02-19T07:55:00.004-07:00

When people ask me how I've got over 900 friends on Facebook, the next question they usually ask is if I actually know that many people. Truth be told - I know just about all but 40 or so. I've been blessed to have come across so many people in my lifetime and I do not take each encounter for granted. Does it sound silly? If not for the opportunity of getting to know a person on a personal level and building a good friendship, at least there's the hope of networking and or possibly helping one another out in a professional way.

I've mentioned in blogs before about how I hold people close to my heart. I'm not lying when I say I would do just about anything for someone I call a friend. And while I know some people I've come across in my life that I've truly cared for would not return the favor, I'm alright with that because I did what I needed to do and what I'm wired to do.

I wear my heart on my sleeve and at times it's to my disadvantage. Yes, I get hurt at times because I do this. BUT doesn't a person get hurt simply by not sharing their life with others too? I was having coffee with a dear friend of mine just recently and she mentioned how I know so many people and how it's so easy for me to just put myself out there - emotionally and physically. She's the opposite, she doesn't tend to do that and she said, she hurts herself by not allowing others to get to know her and by allowing herself to vent and express what's on her heart.

Either way, I'm not encouraging you to change the way that you express your emotion and share life. BUT I am challenging you to allow yourself to get to know the people around you. Go ahead and take a moment to start up a conversation with your regular coffee barrista, ask the clerk at the grocery store how they are doing (and mean it), say hello to the people you see on a regular basis but have never spoken to at school, work, etc. You never know what kind of gift you might unwrap. And even better, you never know if you might be that person that they need in their life at the moment!

You are amazing - go and be it!

The Valleys

2010-02-17T14:38:00.002-07:00

It's true, life's not always a mountain-top experience. So what do you do when it's not? Lately I've been feeling very challenged emotionally and physically. Life seems to be kicking my butt. I freakin' hate it! SO, I always know that when I begin to feel this way, it won't be long before I'm back up and running.

The valleys... oh the valleys. I tend to withdraw when I get this way. I don't enjoy being around people, which is so opposite of how I'm wired. All of a sudden it's like someone's put negativity glasses on me and everything around me is completely wrong and lame. I begin re-evaluating friendships and relationships and looking over my life and what I've done and what I've not done. All the evaluating and what not pulls me down even more. It's a pretty bad state of being. However, do you find yourself in the valley from time to time? What do you do to pull yourself out?

If you're anything like me - being that low just doesn't work for me. I love life and I love people. Those closest to me start to worry about me because they know that something's just not right, and it's not.

I'm really grateful for family and friends and my faith. They pull me through every time. Everyone needs that support system around them. If they don't - it's time to start looking around.

Who's gonna be there for you when you are celebrating on the mountain-top? And who's gonna be there for you along life's journey that is often times less emotional and exciting? And then, who's going to be there for you when you are in the valley? Hopefully the same person for all three! And don't you want to be that person to someone else as well?

I encourage you to grasp on to another human being and love them the way you want to be loved. Be the kind of friend to them that you want in return. So much of life is relationships. I've always felt this way. I firmly believe this to my core. We are people and we need one another. Love, laugh, live. I love that - it's so true.

Go - be that amazing person that you are. Share yourself with others and allow yourself to be amazing to them as well. You deserve it... they deserve it. You are amazing!

I resolve to...

2010-01-05T03:45:00.002-07:00

Do you make New Year's goals and/or resolutions?

I guess I kind of do in the back of my mind. This year's is something completely new (besides the whole getting healthier thing) - this year I resolve to quit saying the "F" word. F-A-T. Yup, I know it sounds lame and crazy but here's what's going on. I've said it in front of my kids and I've told them that I'm fat and that I don't like the way I look and that I'm on a diet and yada yada yada. So I'm watching "America The Beautiful" (totally recommend it) and I'm convicted about my behavior. All these years I've been putting myself down, because I'd rather hear it from me than from someone else that I'm imperfect. All the while my kids and family are affected from this negative talk.

I don't want my 8 year old daughter to grow up thinking that she has to strive to make herself more beautiful and more perfect when she's already beautiful in so many ways. And I don't want to hear my 6 year old son tell me anymore that he's going on a diet... probably because he thinks that's the right thing to do since Mommy is constantly talking about the diet that she's on. Please don't judge me and think that I'm a rotten parent - it's not like I talk about this stuff on a daily basis around my kids. But I am guilty of saying it none the less.

So here it is... I'm going to work on being more positive about myself - loving myself more (Is that possible some of you ask? Ha ha ha.) - and teaching my children and the kids I work with to believe that they truly are amazing because that's how God created them to be.

I remember in the past I used to see something beautiful in everyone - no one was ugly to me. I want to see that in others again because it's true, everyone is beautiful. Beauty is something that we all possess - but do you and I actually believe this to be true about ourselves? How can we pass this along to the next generation that they are truly beautiful inside and out if we don't even believe this about ourselves?

So --- how about we all strive to love ourselves a little more because when we love ourselves we're able to love others so much more.

Be amazing - you are amazing!

Snow, Snowballs and Life

2009-10-30T07:22:00.002-06:00

Colorado was hit with an October snowstorm and we've been snowed in for essentially two days. In only two days I managed to fall into "lazy mode" where nothing looked interesting to me besides food and whatever might appear visually appealing on a TV screen. Last night as I was getting ready for bed I realized that I'd have to get up early to go to work and that started to bum me out. I haven't worked for three days (a beautiful unexpected vacation from above) and I'm bummed about returning to work? What the heck?

So I woke up this morning at 6:30, bright and early. I normally hit the snooze about three times until it's actually 7am, but today I didn't. I awoke feeling happy and inspired and ready to take on the world. This feeling made me feel empowered and I began to think that I could and should have this attitude everyday.

Yes, I realize that stuff happens that I can't control, but the one thing that I can control is my attitude and my response. I couldn't control the snow, but I can control how I'm going to react to it all. SO this morning, while the roads are a bummer because they are icy and it's freakin cold out, I've chosen to enjoy life and this very moment that I am in - and I've decided to make today a beautiful day for myself regardless of whatever might get thrown my way. AND let's just say that a big snowball gets thrown at me, I will get back up, shake it off and move along... with a smile.

Attack the day. Attack today. You deserve it - you are beautiful. You are amazing!

Listen

2009-09-29T19:57:00.003-06:00

I'm sitting at coffee this morning with a few friends and as we're sitting there chatting away, I begin to wonder if any of us are actually listening to each other? I'm sure we hear one another, but at the same time we're so desperately trying to be heard ourselves that we're not actually listening. SO I want to challenge myself to actually take the time to listen to others. When I'm with my friends, I want to purposely make the decision to just shut up and to listen to what they have to say.

No big words of encouragement and motivation from me tonight, other than - take the time to listen to those you care about, it speaks louder than words. Goodnight friends. You are amazing. Continue to be amazing!

An Amazing Life

2009-09-11T13:08:00.001-06:00

Being a mother is simply amazing. As my youngest is about to turn another year older I realize just how quickly the years pass. I still remember the day I went into labor with him – clearly. I still remember holding him and nursing him for the first time. I still remember my overwhelming emotions I had towards that little guy after laying eyes on him for the first time.

I cherish each day with my husband and my children. I don’t take any moment for granted. It’s easy to take for granted the mundane and boring daily activities for granted – but I just can’t anymore. I treasure walking my children up to the school each morning at drop off. I look forward to seeing their faces at the end of the school day when I pick them up. I get excited about the possibility of joining them for lunch every so often in the school cafeteria. And what makes my heart smile most – is when I walk by their classroom at school and see them smiling and getting into their work.

I can’t take life for granted – as crazy as it might seem. I guess in the back of my head I hold loosely the thought that any and all of it could be taken away in a heartbeat. Eight years ago two planes hit the twin towers in NY – and in a moment our world changed before our eyes. I want to live amazingly – I want to love amazingly – and I want to be amazing. I know I’m dramatic at times and I know I’m emotional as well… but all that pushes me to love people, the moment and life even more. Life is too short – live hard.

Hello self-confidence... where'd ya go?

2009-09-01T20:47:00.003-06:00

So here it is, nearly 4 months since I last blogged. The summer blew by and without much regret. Much regret? We had one vacation planned for the summer and it fell through. My only regret is not planning something else. I loved every minute with my kids and my husband and my friends. I am thankful and I am blessed!

What's been on my mind???

I'm sure I've struggled with the issue of not feeling like I fit in at times. I mean, I know I struggled a lot with that in high school. As I got older I feel as though I've left that behind me and become more confident with myself and my abilities. So just recently - almost two weeks ago actually, I was dealt a hand that I wasn't expecting. I was at a social event that I normally feel fairly confident and able to hold my own at. This particular time, I failed - I completely lost confidence and doubted my abilities to carry on a decent conversation with any strangers that might try to strike up conversation. What was my deal? What the heck?

It only gets worse from there. I let the memory of the awful and awkward event remain in my head and in my heart - and for days I stewed over my inability to fit in. I began to see myself in high school again and I began to see myself quickly becoming a social outcast.

Now deep down, I believe we all long to be accepted and to be loved. It's a normal and natural feeling. I'm normal - I feel it. I get it! So what have I done?

I allowed myself to wallow in my own self-pity for about a week. I let myself vent and talk it out with a few close friends of mine, and cherished their sweet loving words of compassion and acceptance. When it all comes down to it - isn't it their opinions of me that should matter most? Not some stranger or acquaintance that I run into from time to time. So I began to change my attitude. I began to look at people differently. I began to ask myself, what if that person I'm so afraid of pleasing - feels the same way about me? How narcissistic of me to think that they would even be thinking about me - good or bad. What if they weren't even placing judgement on me - what if they were just minding their own business and here I was trying to make something more out of it than necessary? The what if's...

Two weeks later and I think I've accomplished it - not completely of course, I think it's a constant work in me. BUT here it is - I'm living my life for me and my family. I'm doing what's best for me and not worrying about what others might think in the process. Forget about them, if they don't like me now - chances are they never did and never will. So buck up - move forward and live confidently knowing that each day I grow stronger building my confidence back up and perhaps even stronger than the first time.

Easier said than done? Don't you know it?!? But I take joy in seeing myself make the most of myself and each moment I am given here on earth. And that's something I'm confident about! Don't let others thoughts or words bring you down. Who knows if those people actually even think or say the things that you "think" they've said?

Move on - move forward - live amazingly - you are amazing!

Where do you live?

2009-05-05T20:13:00.008-06:00

Do you live in the here and now - the present? Do you live in the past - remembering the glory days? Do you live for the future - hoping for what is to come?

It seems like lately I've been coming across many who still live in the past. Instead of just remembering the good old days and all their glory - they continue to stay there... not necessarily moving forward with their lives. I believe that when more than half of the conversations are about the past, that we've not really left that part of our lives behind. While they were good times, we ought to be moving forward with our lives. Know what I'm talking about?

And let's just say that it doesn't have to be the good times that pull us back to the days long ago. It can be painful memories and hurtful events that also allow us to stay there as well. Sometimes we don't allow ourselves forgiveness and grace to move on, despite the actions of others. Even though it's easy to say that we shouldn't allow others to dictate our feelings and actions, the fact remains that for some of us - we do.

I challenge you to live out today and tomorrow and the next - living in the now. Don't look back on how it was... or if only you had changed something in your past to make today turn out differently. Reality is: what's done is done - can't change it - move on. The past is how it was and today doesn't necessarily have to be a reflection of that.

If you need to forgive yourself or others - do it. If you need to grant yourself a little bit of grace or someone else - give it. Move on! You can do it. When you do, there's freedom (and perhaps a little bit of relief) knowing that your past doesn't have to hold you captive any longer. And by all means, don't allow others to pull you back with them. You deserve to move forward.

So, where do you live? Remember... you can make the choice... you can make a move if you need to. Move along now... and have a great week!

Becoming stronger

2009-03-19T18:08:00.003-06:00

I just recently added strength training into my workout routine. I've been doing it consistently for three weeks now. It wasn't easy in the beginning, I didn't really want to lift weights on top of my busy Jazzercise schedule, but I realize how important it is.

Life is a lot like strength training. When lifting weights, you might only add a small amount of resistance, perhaps 10-20 pounds to start. It feels like that amount of weight is almost too hard to lift and the muscles tire quickly and you're sore for a couple days after. Some days it almost seems pointless and easy to just not even do the workout.

If you continue lifting on a consistent basis - you begin to see yourself getting stronger and taking on more weight and challenging your body to lift one more rep or set. You won't necessarily see it right away, it will more than likely take time - for some many months... but this amazing thing happens - your body begins to transform and your muscles become more defined and tone.

A lot like life - sometimes we are put into a situation that's uncomfortable or not easy... but know that we've got to stay in it - if for no other reason, because we've got no other choice. BUT stick it out, take from each moment the lessons meant to be learned from each challenge. Look at it as a way of strengthening yourself and making yourself a better person.

Before you know it - you might be surprised to see this new person evolving in front of you. One day you might not even recognize that person you once were because you've grown into a much stronger person. Consider it a workout for your inner-being and soul. Take from life and learn... each day has so many lessons to offer you.

Peace!

Good luck penny

2008-10-29T19:33:00.005-06:00

I stink - literally. Totally smell. Yuck.

I've taught a gazillion workouts this week. Okay, so that's not true. I've taught six and it's only Wednesday.

Now is the time when certain things start to play through my head... mainly - "quit, you're tired... you're old, no one seems to care much anymore anyways." WHAT? Where is this crazy talk coming from and who is this other person living inside my skin that would think so negatively?

Do you ever feel this way?

Exhausted - beat down - unable to think straight?

Well stop it already!

This is the moment when you have to dig deep. Find just that one little piece of inspiration and hold it closely to your heart. Kind of like a good-luck penny I suppose. What's yours? What inpires you? What gives you hope and motivates you?

Whatever it is - it belongs to you! And you own it. I think that this place that you're in, you know, the one where you just want to give in because it's starting to get a little hard (perhaps physically, maybe even mentally) is the determining factor as to what will happen next and the person that you are.

I tell my own kids this all the time. Go ahead and quit when it gets hard, but if you decide to stick with it and grit your teeth and push through - you'll come out even stronger than you went in and that's the difference between just being good and being the best!

Every moment is a learning opportunity. I love that. There's so much to learn. We should never stop learning - we should always strive to be better... even if that means working through the tough times to get to that point.

You can do it! And actually - luck has nothing to do with it.

Cheerleaders for the soul

2008-10-20T08:05:00.000-06:00

Accolades: 1. An expression of approval; praise. 2. A special acknowledgment; an award.

I love accolades, I can't lie. And deep down doesn't just about everyone? Accolades keep the motivation strong. Are you getting your daily dose in?

Not that everything you do should require praise, but I believe that along life's journey we do need some encouragement. Let's face it, life is hard - why go at it alone?

Who are the people that are in your life at the current moment? Do they encourage you or do they bring your spirit down? It may be time to re-evaluate the people you have allowed in your life.

You know who I'm talking about. There are people that encourage you to be the very best person that you can be - they make you feel like you can do just about anything. Their positivity and belief in you, allows you to give more to others in return.

Then there are people that you know just want to watch you fail at what you are doing. They're waiting and watching. Though they may never voice it - you can feel it. You know it's there. You don't need them. They suck every thing out of you, making yourself feel empty and exhausted. Is having this kind of person in your life worth it?

Now think about those people that are in your life currently. Who are they?

Are you blessed to have encouraging people as a part of your life? Even if you only have one person in your life that brings encouragement... that's a start. That person is worth gold! That one person can make you feel alive and filled.

If you haven't found that person... perhaps it's time that you reach out and begin to be an encouragement to others. It will come back to you, I promise. Positive people attract positive people. Take a look at your friend inventory - begin to ask yourself, "Does this person bring positive light to our friendship or negative?" If the answer's negative, ask yourself, "Is it worth holding on to this friendship?"

Life is short. Don't waste it on negativity and bad energy. Allow yourself to be filled with positivity. After all - you're definitely worth it!

Until next time - I'll be cheering for YOU!!!

Setbacks

2008-10-08T10:44:00.000-06:00

You didn't close on that big sales pitch. You didn't get the promotion you were expecting... or the raise. That project you were working so hard on didn't come out the way you expected it to. A job loss. Or how about a major injury, just days before a sporting event?

Setbacks.

How do you deal with the hurdles that are placed in front of you on life's journey?

Do you allow these setbacks to positively or negatively effect you? How do they effect you? And why?

Making mountains out of mole-hills... heard that before? But I think it's true. Often times it's hard to look past the situation and focus in on the big picture. It is possible to look past the situation and look past yourself... when you're able to achieve that task alone - you've already accomplished success.

It's taken me many years to get to the place where I am now. To the place where I accept setbacks for what they are - and realize that there really are times when I can do absolutely nothing about what has happened. I've learned to accept what's happened - learn from what has happened - and then decide from that point on what I will do with it.

Life is always going to throw you a curve-ball, but it's your reaction that determines the outcome... and in fact, it determines the kind of person that you are. Will you quit? Or will you dig deeper and allow a setback to work to your benefit?

Don't give up...keep on keeping on... and you will begin to see the sweetness of perseverance. I believe in you!

Just believe

2008-10-06T08:36:00.001-06:00

I coach gymnastics. I love my girls. One thing I find true with many of them is their lack of self-belief.

As a coach you can tell them over and over again that they can do it. That you believe in them - that they are great at what they do.

BUT, if they don't believe it themselves... they'll often times fail at their attempts to complete a trick or a routine.

I know that I would never ask a gymnast of mine to do something that I didn't think they could already do. However, I can't tell you how many times I've run into a situation that the gymnast couldn't do something I've asked her to do simply because of her own lack of belief.

SO how many times do we do this to ourselves? How often do you find yourself lacking any belief of your own - that you can truly do something? Whether it be making that difficult call to a client or a boss? Or stepping out to network with a complete stranger? Or even tying up the laces on your running shoes so that you can take that mile run you've been saying you want to do? Or what about --- telling yourself that you look great... even if the scale doesn't say exactly what you want it to?

I believe that when we ourselves can truly believe in ourselves... the world is ours - the possibilities are endless.

Stay tuned...